The Light Behind the Shadow: Reclaiming Your Authentic Voice

Welcome to Tuesday Talks at 10:30 recap. I’m Evidential Medium and Spiritual Healer, Stacey Niedentohl. Happy June. This space was created for you to explore your spiritual path. We come together in this safe space every Tuesday Morning and whether you are new or a repeat watcher, on live or replay, you have arrived at the precise moment you were meant to be here. If this is your first time here, I ask that you take what resonates with you and try not to overthink what does not. Your opinions and thought are yours. There is no judgement here of what may be right or wrong for you.

We just wrapped up the May topic of Abundance. And if you missed it, you can find it on YouTube, Spotify, and there are links on the website. This month we are focusing on light, joy and your inner child. We’ll be talking about playfulness, self-expression, inner child healing, the solar plexus, and confidence. Of course, we will touch upon the Summer Solstice. And today, we are going to dig into shadow work.

Let me ask you a question. Have you ever held back your truth because you were afraid of being judged, rejected, or misunderstood? Most people have.

Here is a quote I want you to soak in:

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.” — Carl Jung

When we begin to examine shadow work, it is the act of bringing the unconscious to our consciousness. Many people hear the term shadow work they immediately imagine something dark, painful, or frightening. The shadow often carries a negative feeling because it contains the parts of ourselves we learned were unacceptable. Somewhere along the way, we received messages, spoken or unspoken. We learned that certain emotions, traits, desires, or expressions were not safe to show.

Perhaps we learned:

• Don’t be too emotional.

• Don’t be angry.

• Don’t be sensitive.

• Don’t be different.

• Don’t take up too much space.

• Don’t shine brighter than others.

So, what did we do? We pushed those parts into the shadows of our awareness. The discomfort people feel around shadow work isn’t necessarily coming from the shadow itself. It’s coming from the fear of facing what has been hidden.

Here is the truth: The shadow is not the wound. The shadow is where we put the wound. It is placed in the shadows.

If you’ve ever cleaned out a closet that hasn’t been opened for years, the process can feel overwhelming at first. There may be dust, forgotten boxes, and things you’ve avoided looking at. It’s the clothes that no longer fit or in style. But the purpose isn’t to live in the mess. The purpose is to create space, clarity, and freedom. To look at what no longer fit and discard it.

Another reason shadow work feels negative is because our culture tends to celebrate the “light” side of growth. We focus on gratitude, positivity, love, abundance, while often avoiding conversations about grief, anger, fear, shame, or disappointment. Yet these emotions are part of being human. It’s difficult to be positive all the time. That is part of the shadow. Pretending to be…

Think of it this way. Shadow work isn’t about becoming less light. It’s about becoming whole. A tree’s branches can only reach as high as its roots reach deep. The shadow is the root system. The light is the visible growth.

One of the great misconceptions is that the shadow only contains pain. In reality, it often contains hidden gifts:

• Confidence that was mistaken for arrogance.

• Sensitivity that was mistaken for weakness.

• Creativity that was judged as impractical.

• Intuition that was dismissed.

• Personal power that felt unsafe to express.

Many people discover that what they thought was darkness was actually untapped potential waiting to be welcomed home. The shadow is not everything that is bad about you. It is everything about you that has been left in the dark. Pushed down, hidden or stopped by learned beliefs. When you break it down this way, shadow work becomes less about confronting darkness and more about bringing compassion, awareness, and acceptance to the parts of you that have been waiting to be seen. It is not a journey into darkness. It is a journey, a path toward wholeness.

Shadow work begins like tending a small flame in a windless room. It is quiet and intentional, but never forced. The goal is not to dive into overwhelm, but to build trust with what has been tucked away.

Here are gentle thought points I want to share:

1. The Emotional Pause (Naming the Weather Within)

When something feels “off,” pause for a moment and name what is present.

• “I feel irritated.”

• “I feel sad.”

• “I feel tense.”

• “I feel unseen.”

No story. No fixing. Just naming. You are not saying I feel…because and place the story around it. You are only naming the way it feels at this point. This creates distance between you and the emotion, so it becomes something you are aware of not something you are consumed by or chose it as the identity of what makes you, you.

2. “What Is This Really About?” Reflection

When a reaction arises, gently ask:

• “What part of me feels activated right now?”

• “What does this remind me of?”

• “When have I felt this before?”

This can reveal that the present moment is only the surface ripple of something older beneath it.

3. Mirror Practice (Soft Self-Observation)

Stand or sit in front of a mirror and simply observe yourself without trying to change anything. Look deep within your essence.

Then ask inwardly:

• “What do I usually not allow myself to feel?”

• “What am I trying to hide even from myself?”

Let whatever arises be witnessed without judgment. Just acknowledge it.

4. The Unsent Letter

Write a letter you will never send to:

• someone who hurt you

• a younger version of yourself

• or even a part of you (fear, anger, sadness)

Write freely:

• What you wish had been said

• What was never expressed

• What you needed

Then close it without analyzing it. This gives a voice to what has been held in silence. You may choose to burn the letter as a pact to yourself that this is no longer a part of yourself. This action/exercise is known as transference. You are offering these thoughts and feelings to the universe. You are releasing the weight they once had on you.

5. Disowned Trait Inquiry

Ask yourself:

• “What traits in others irritate me the most?”

Then gently explore:

• “Where do I express a small version of that trait?”

• “Where did I learn it was not acceptable?”

Often, what we judge outside is something we’ve exiled within.

6. Body Check-In

Twice a day, pause and scan:

• Where is there tightness?

• Where is there heaviness?

• Where is there numbness?

Then ask:

• “If this sensation had a voice, what would it say?”

The body often speaks what the mind avoids. The body doesn’t overlook what the mind is conditioned to hide.

7. Gentle Reframe

When a difficult feeling arises, instead of pushing it away, try:

• “This part of me is trying to protect me.”

• “This emotion is information, not an enemy.”

• “Something in me wants attention, not suppression.”

This shifts the inner relationship from resistance to compassion. This is the greatest form of self-love. Be aware that when doing shadow work, it doesn’t begin with intensity, it begins with honesty that feels safe enough to hold.

Not excavation.
Not confrontation.
But listening.

Like sitting beside a closed door in your own inner house, realizing you don’t have to break it down, because you have the key.

Let’s further examine and break it down a bit more.

What Is the Shadow?

The shadow is made up of:

• Emotions we were taught were unacceptable

• Gifts we were discouraged from expressing

• Needs that went unmet

• Parts of our personality we learned to hide to gain acceptance

Examples:

• The sensitive child who learned to appear strong

• The creative person who stopped sharing ideas after criticism

• The intuitive person who learned to stay quiet to fit in

Imagine a room in your house where you keep placing things you don’t want guests to see. Eventually the room becomes so full you can barely close the door. Shadow work is opening that door with curiosity instead of fear. Just like we spoke about with the closet that needs cleaned out.

How the Shadow Affects Self-Expression

Many people think they have a confidence problem. Often, they actually have a shadow problem.

The shadow may sound like:

• “Who am I to do that?”

• “What if people judge me?”

• “I shouldn’t take up space.”

• “I need everyone to approve.”

These are hidden fears and they create:

• People pleasing

• Perfectionism

• Overthinking

• Fear of visibility

• Difficulty speaking truth

The shadow doesn’t stop expression because it is bad. It stops expression because it is trying to protect us from old wounds.

Let’s reflect for a moment: What part of yourself do you hide most often?

Perhaps:

• Your creativity

• Your sensitivity

• Your spiritual gifts

• Your emotions

• Your dreams

• Your voice

Then ask yourself, “If I wasn’t afraid of judgment, I would…” I believe you are worth not being afraid, and I want you to feel that as well. You may find many gifts you haven’t unwrapped yet. Gifts that have your name on them, but you can’t see them because of being engulfed in the fear of judgement.

Let’s go a bit deeper.

The Gifts Hidden in the Shadow:

One of the greatest misconceptions is that the shadow only contains pain. Often, it contains our greatest gifts.

Hidden Shadow = Hidden Gift

Sensitivity = Empathy

Anger = Boundaries

Fear = Wisdom

Grief = Compassion

Vulnerability = Authentic Connection

Creativity =Innovation

Sometimes what we are afraid to show is exactly what the world needs from us. Think about that for a minute. What we are afraid to show is exactly what the world needs from us. Boom. That’s one to put on a sticky note and place it in places as a reminder. The more you read it and see it, the more you will come to believe it. The seed does not become the flower by denying the darkness of the soil. It grows because of it. You are the seed, what is growing within you?

Here are some small shadow work exercises you can incorporate in your daily life to help you with self-expression.

1. Notice Your Triggers

Ask:
 “What am I feeling and why?”

Triggers often point toward shadow material. I will talk about that a bit more in a second.

2. Become Curious

Replace:
 “What’s wrong with me?”

With:
 “What part of me is asking to be seen?”

3. Give Yourself Permission

Practice expressing one truth each day:

• A feeling

• An opinion

• A need

• A creative idea

4. Speak Before You Feel Ready

Authenticity grows through practice, not perfection. The goal of shadow work is not to eliminate the shadow. The goal is integration. When we stop rejecting parts of ourselves, we stop fighting ourselves. And when we stop fighting ourselves, our authentic voice begins to emerge naturally.

Ok let’s go back and open up the suitcase about triggers. Being aware, recognizing triggers and where they are rooted is key.

So, what is a trigger? A trigger is not the event itself. A trigger is the emotional reaction that feels bigger than the present moment. Something that activates a deep emotional response is often touching an old wound, belief, or unmet need.

You may be triggered when:

• Your reaction feels stronger than the situation warrants.

• You become defensive quickly.

• You feel rejected, abandoned, criticized, ignored, or unworthy.

• You find yourself replaying a conversation repeatedly.

• You experience a strong emotional charge in your body, like a tight chest, clenched jaw, racing thoughts, upset stomach.

• You want to withdraw, attack, please, prove, or control.

The moment may have lit the match, but the fuel was already there. The trigger is a messenger. Most of us try to get rid of uncomfortable feelings immediately.

Shadow work invites us to ask:

• What is this feeling trying to tell me?

• Why does this hurt so much?

• When have I felt this before?

Instead of viewing triggers as enemies, we can view them as invitations to healing. Common triggers: feeling criticized, rejected, invisible, controlled, and overlooked. Let’s break it down and see how it sits with you.

Feeling Criticized

Trigger: Someone gives feedback, and you feel devastated.

Possible Root: Growing up with harsh criticism, unrealistic expectations, or feeling like love was earned through performance.

Hidden Belief: “I am not good enough.”

Feeling Rejected

Trigger: Someone doesn’t call back, excludes you, or disagrees with you.

Possible Root: Experiences of abandonment, exclusion, or emotional neglect.

Hidden Belief: “I don’t belong.”

Feeling Invisible

Trigger: Your ideas are overlooked.

Possible Root: Being unheard as a child or learning that your voice didn’t matter.

Hidden Belief: “What I think isn’t important.”

Feeling Controlled

Trigger: Someone tells you what to do.

Possible Root: Past experiences where personal choices or autonomy was taken away.

Hidden Belief:
 “I am powerless.”

The body often knows first. Many triggers are recognized in the body before the mind understands them. Just think about: When you are upset, where do you feel it?

• Tight throat?

• Heavy chest?

• Knotted stomach?

• Tense shoulders?

The body often stores the emotional memory connected to the trigger.

A Simple Shadow Work Process

When triggered, pause and ask:

1. What happened?

Describe the event. By describing it, you are acknowledging the action. You are not overlooking it.

2. What am I feeling?

Name the emotion. Giving it a name means your emotions are real and you are not going to push them down.

3. What story am I telling myself?

When you roll back the tapes and remember why you felt this way, you see it differently.

Examples:

• They don’t respect me.

• I’m not good enough.

• Nobody cares.

4. When have I felt this before?

This question often reveals the root. You may discover that today’s trigger is connected to yesterday’s wound. Imagine your emotional wounds as bruises. If someone bumps into a healthy part of your arm, you barely notice. If they touch a bruise, the pain is immediate. The person may have touched the bruise, but they did not create it. Shadow work helps us identify where the bruises are so we can heal them rather than repeatedly protecting them.

Let’s reflect again. This is part of shadow work. This question often opens the door from blame into self-discovery. Ready? Think of a situation that recently upset you. What emotion arose? What belief was underneath it? And where in your life did you first learn that belief?

The key takeaway is that a trigger is rarely about what is happening right now. It is often a doorway into something that has been asking for attention, understanding, and healing for a very long time. When we become curious instead of reactive, our triggers stop being obstacles and begin becoming teachers.

You may be asking, “Stacey, why is this so important?” Great question, I’m glad you asked. The end result of shadow work is not perfection, nor the absence of difficult emotions. It is something quieter, steadier. Like a sky that no longer argues with its own weather. It is integration and transformation. Where once there was fragmentation, parts of self-pushed away, silenced, or hidden. There is no relationship. You no longer exile aspects of yourself to feel safe. You learn to hold them.

Your life begins to shift:

1. Emotional reactions soften
 Triggers don’t disappear, but they lose their grip. What once felt like a wave becomes more like a ripple you can feel without being pulled under.

There is space between stimulus and response. In that space, choice returns.

2. Self-expression becomes more natural
When internal judgment lessens, expression no longer requires permission. You speak more clearly. You create more freely. You show up without rehearsing your worthiness. What was once filtered becomes more fluid.

3. Less internal conflict
This is a big one. Instead of “part of me wants this, part of me is afraid,” there is a growing sense of psychological and emotional unity. Even difficult emotions are no longer enemies. They become recognizable signals you understand. The inner world becomes less like a war and more like a conversation.

4. Authentic confidence replaces performance
Confidence is no longer built on proving, achieving, or being seen a certain way. It becomes rooted in self-acceptance. Not “I am better than I was,” but: “I am no longer abandoning myself to belong.”

5. Compassion expands naturally
As you meet your own shadow with understanding, you stop reacting to others’ shadows with fear or judgment. You begin to see humanity more clearly: people acting from wounds, defenses, longing, and history. Judgment softens into awareness.

6. A grounded sense of wholeness
Perhaps the most subtle shift is this: nothing that is essential in you needs to be removed to be worthy. You are no longer trying to become someone else. You are becoming more fully what you already are. Shadow work does not make you a different person. It removes the distance between who you are and who you have been trying to be. And from that place, self-expression is no longer something you perform. It becomes something that flows — like breath finding its natural rhythm again.

Here is the kicker. Shadow work is not a chapter that closes, it is a rhythm that deepens as awareness expands. On a spiritual path, growth does not move in a straight line toward “finished.” It moves in spirals. The same themes may return, but each time you meet them with a little more presence, a little less resistance, a little more truth.

Shadow work is ongoing. As consciousness expands, so does sensitivity. You begin to notice layers that were once invisible:

• Subtle fears beneath confidence

• Old beliefs beneath new habits

• Hidden tension beneath calm appearances

• Unspoken expectations beneath relationships

It is not that more “problems” appear, it is that more truth becomes visible. Shadow work grows with awareness, the way light reveals more of a room as the sun rises.

The spiritual unfolding is not linear

Many assume spiritual growth means rising beyond shadow. But in lived experience, it is more like:

• returning to yourself again and again

• each time with deeper honesty

• each time with softer judgment

• each time with more capacity to hold complexity

What once felt like failure becomes familiarity, you recognize it. What once felt like intensity becomes information. Integration deepens over time. At first, shadow work feels like confronting hidden parts. Later, it becomes: recognizing patterns sooner, responding rather than reacting, noticing before spiraling, and holding emotion without collapse or suppression. Eventually, even the idea of “shadow” softens. Nothing within you is fully rejected anymore. No more hiding. You are mindful and active in the experience of moving through awareness.

From a spiritual lens, shadow work is not separate from awakening, it is part of it. Because awakening is not escape from the human experience. It is embodiment within it. You do not transcend being human. You include more of what it means to be human.

Shadow work is not something you complete. It is something you learn to walk with. As your awareness expands, so does your capacity to meet yourself, again and again, with honesty instead of avoidance, with compassion instead of resistance.

• On the live, I mentioned adding a guided meditation to help the mind hear what is hiding away. It is below. You can read it while recording to help in guiding the meditation.

Final Mantras to use:

“I honor the parts of myself I have hidden.”

“I welcome them with compassion.”

“I release the fear of being fully seen.”

“I trust my authentic voice.”

“I allow myself to express who I truly am.”

“The light I seek is already within me.”

In closing: When you are on a spiritual path, wholeness is not a destination. It is a returning. Again and again, to the parts of yourself that are ready to be seen in a new light. The part of you that lives the life you love and loves the life you are living.

Have a magical day.

Stacey

If you are interested in scheduling a reading, you can go to www.connectingtospiritwithstacey.com and click on the Book a Reading button. If you have any questions while trying to schedule, please email me at connectingtospiritwithstacey@gmail.com

To watch the live go to Facebook or YouTube @connectingtospiritwithstac1512

Guided meditation. Record yourself slowly reading this and listen to it as you meditate.

Here is a simple, grounded meditation you can guide in 3–7 minutes. It’s gentle enough for beginners, yet deep enough to touch shadow awareness without overwhelming.

“Meeting Yourself in Soft Light” Meditation

Invite your body to settle — either sitting or standing with a relaxed spine. No need to force stillness. Let yourself arrive as you are.

Bring attention to the breath.

Inhale slowly…
Exhale slowly…

No changing it. No fixing it. Just noticing it.

With each exhale, imagine the body releasing a small layer of tension — like mist dissolving from glass.

Silently or softly, inwardly:

“I am here.”

(Gently ask yourself:)

• What am I feeling right now?

• Where do I feel it in my body?

There is no need to interpret it. Only notice:

• tightness

• heaviness

• warmth

• restlessness

• calm

Imagine you are sitting beside your inner experience, not inside of it.

You are the one who is aware.

Now softly ask:

“What part of me is asking to be seen right now?”

Do not search. Do not force.

Whatever arises — emotion, memory, or simply nothing at all — allow it to be here without judgment.

You might silently say:

“You are welcome here, just as you are.”

Like sitting beside a younger version of yourself in quiet understanding.

Bring awareness back to the breath.

Inhale: I include myself.
Exhale: I release resistance.

Feel the body as a whole again — no parts pushed away, no parts excluded.

Let the breath become natural.

Then gently open awareness outward — sound, space, light.

I invite myself to know that

“I do not need to fix myself to be whole. I only need to stay present with what is asking to be known.”

When you are ready, open your eyes and journal your thoughts.

If you feel the need, here is a longer meditation

It is designed to gently open awareness, invite emotional honesty, and support integration without overwhelm.

Find a comfortable position — seated or standing — allowing the body to feel supported.

There is nothing to achieve here. Nothing to perform. Only presence.

Begin by gently bringing attention to the body.

Notice the points of contact:

• feet on the ground

• weight in the chair or floor

• the subtle support holding you

There is no need to change anything.

Simply notice:

“I am here.”

Let the breath come in its own rhythm.

Inhale…
Exhale…

With each exhale, imagine the body becoming slightly heavier, like sinking into safe earth beneath you.

If thoughts arise, let them drift by like clouds passing through an open sky.

Nothing to hold. Nothing to chase.

Just this moment.

Now gently bring awareness to the breath.

Not controlling it — just witnessing it.

Inhale…
Exhale…

With each breath, imagine a softening happening inside the chest, the shoulders, the jaw.

Like something inside you is finally allowed to rest.

Silently repeat:

“I allow myself to soften.”

There is no rush.

If emotions are present, they are welcome. If calm is present, it is welcome too.

Everything belongs in awareness.

Shift your awareness slightly back — like stepping behind your thoughts.

Notice:

• sensations in the body

• emotions moving through

• thoughts appearing and dissolving

You are not any of these things.

You are the one noticing them.

You are awareness itself.

You might gently ask inwardly:

“What is present in me right now that wants to be acknowledged?”

Do not search for an answer.

Simply notice what rises.

A feeling…a memory…a sensation…or even stillness.

Whatever is here does not need to be fixed.

Only seen.

Now, with great gentleness, invite this reflection:

“What part of me have I been holding at a distance?”

Again, there is no need to force anything.

If something appears — an emotion, an image, a younger version of yourself, or even just a sense of discomfort — imagine it sitting beside you, not inside of you.

You are not becoming it.

You are sitting with it.

You might say inwardly:

• “I see you.”

• “You are not too much.”

• “You are allowed to be here.”

There is nothing to fix.

Only relationship forming where separation once lived.

If nothing comes, that is also perfect. Stillness is also a doorway.

Become aware of where there may still be tension in the body.

Without judgment, bring breath toward it.

Inhale gently into that space…
Exhale softly away from it…

Imagine the breath is not changing anything — only creating space around what is already here.

Repeat softly with every exhale:

“I release the need to resist myself.”

Not forcing release — just allowing space.

Like loosening a grip, you didn’t realize you were holding.

Begin to widen awareness.

Feel the whole body again.

Not separate parts — just one field of experience.

Everything included:

• thoughts

• emotions

• sensations

• silence between them

All of it belongs.

You are not fragmented here.

You are whole.

Affirm softly:

“I include all parts of myself in awareness.”
“Nothing in me needs to be exiled to be worthy of love.”

Let this settle deeply — not as an idea, but as a felt experience.

Begin to bring attention back to the space around you.

Notice sounds in the room.

Feel the ground again beneath you.

Take one deeper inhale…

And a slow, steady exhale…

When you are ready, gently open your eyes or lift your gaze.

There is no rush.

Carry this softness with you as you return.

Affirm: “What I meet within myself with presence no longer needs to control me from within.” Be sure to journal what thoughts and emotions surfaced.

May peace find you at this moment in time. — Stacey