She Didn’t Just Leave Me Signs; She Left Me Courage (How grief, spiritual confidence, and the unexpected doors in our lives can lead us toward soul purpose.)
Welcome, everyone. I’m so grateful you’re here for the Tuesday Talks at 10:30 recap. This is a moment in time created several years ago. It is meant to be a safe space to explore your spiritual path. We touch upon many subjects, from grief to connecting to spirit and our higher selves, stone energy, and so much more. Whether you are live or on replay or reading the blog, you have arrived at the exact moment you were meant to be here.
Welcome back, all returning connection tribe, and if this is your 1st time here, welcome to the connecting family. I am so glad you found us.
I’m Spiritual Healer, Author, Retreat Facilitator, Key Note Speaker, and an Evidential Medium, Stacey Niedentohl. I wear many woo-woo hats, and my passion is to meet you where you are in your journey of healing and growing.
This month we are discussing: Personal Power and Soul Purpose. We are focusing on leadership, courage, authenticity, confidence, focusing on life purpose. We will incorporate fire energy into empowerment as well. You won’t want to miss a week but if you have missed a few, you can go to our YouTube channel to get caught up.
For a quick review, in the past few weeks, we have spoken about spiritual leadership and offered validity in giving light to your scars. Those scars are part of your story and your wisdom. Last week we expanded that thought, and spoke about spiritual confidence.
We discerned that being confident on your spiritual walk doesn’t mean never doubting yourself. It is refusing to allow doubt to make the decisions for you. It is not saying, “I know exactly where I’m going.” It is being aware of that quiet voice that says, “I don’t know where this is leading me, but I trust myself enough to take the next step.”
We launched into the month by stepping into a conversation that is both ancient and deeply personal to me. The Lion’s Gate. The opening doorway into Soul Purpose. It is this time of year I take time to reflect on progress I’ve made and adjustments that will make this year my best year ever.
But let’s circle back to last week, the 18th that day represents New Year’s Eve to me. This is the beginning of a new year around the sun for me. As this day progressed, I felt such a desire to have a genuine connection to consciousness. I am always so grateful and humbled at the signs and impressions they offer. But I wanted something so profound that there would be no denying it was from my loved ones on the other side.
The past few weeks, I’ve been binge watching a series called “The Big C”. It drew me in as my mother died from the big “C”. Around 11 pm my husband said he was going to go to bed and did I mind. There were only 2 episodes left, so I decided to stay up and finish watching. The conclusion in the last episode, not to spoil it, but the mom passes and I hear from the bedroom Happy Birthday. I saw it as not a coincidence that the finale of this series ended at midnight as my husband speaks birthday wishes. I recognize this to also be a sign from my momma. I felt it deep within my energy. “I’m here.”
I head off to bed and check my phone before calling it a day and I already had several birthday greetings. As always, I meditate before sleeping. I put on the night sounds of crickets and owls and I close my eyes. As I begin to relax my breathing I begin to visualize my grandmother’s house, walking down hill to the weeping willow tree, the small garden with slate outlining the garden. The slate circle I used to joyfully skip around and around being sure to carefully step on each piece of slate. As a child, I would get lost in the wonderment looking at the color of the flowers, the way they brought a fragrance to the air, and the size of the willow tree. I always felt this was my special, safe spot. I focused back into my mind’s eye and placed a bench under the mighty willow. It was not there when I was young but I needed a place to sit with her. My intentions were to meet my mother on the bench to talk to her on my birthday. But as I began to walk down the hill, the bench was filled. I saw family and friends who had all gathered on this bench to greet me. They were smiling and laughing. One friend who I call my forever friend was holding a cupcake with a candle on it. Through her laughter, I heard her say, “look how old you are!” As they touched my arm or kissed my cheek they slowly faded. Uncle Glen was the last to walk by me, tapping my hand as he always did. I could feel the sound of his voice, “I love you so much, you’re my best friend.” Till it was only my momma sitting with me. Telepathically, I asked her to show me signs for my birthday. The ones that are obvious. The ones that trigger flashes of memories for the day. As my breathing got deeper, I smelled her White Diamonds perfume and felt her love surround me. I remember thinking, you understand. Thank you, momma. She stood up touching my hand and walked past the weeping willow tree. Her purple dress slightly moving in the breeze. She looked back with a big beautiful smile as she approached the white fence I had stood on many times feeding apples to the horses, and she was gone. Sometimes, these moments we touch make me miss her more, and sometimes it brings me comfort. This time it was a bit of both.
The morning comes with my alarm going off and once again hearing hubby saying “Happy Birthday, let’s get ready and we’ll be off.” We had a plan to run away for the day and just be. Normal routine, take the pups out, make my morning drink and hit the shower. When I came back into my room, there on the floor, by my bed was a penny and a quarter. You may be thinking, ok…so? Before I showered, I straightened the throw rug by my bed and guess what? They weren’t there. Again, you may be thinking it’s 26 cents? Nope, today I turned 62. The penny was first which hinted to look at it in reverse. Yup 62. It made me smile knowing I had solved the puzzle. The day is off to a good start. I received text messages from my kids and grands; my heart is full. And now, we are off to begin the day’s adventure. While driving I’m enjoying the music playing, scenery of the road, the mountains and the sun shining in the sky. Jeff’s voice says “you only have 711 miles on your jeep?” Again, I smile, knowing it’s another wish, his daddy’s birthday is July 11th.
We spend the day walking around Harper’s Ferry. Looking at the old buildings, going into the unique shops, choosing trinkets and treasures to remember this day. We had dinner reservations at one of our favorite spots in Gettysburg so after a few hours we left to travel home. We needed to take care of our pups and change. I hadn’t checked my phone much during the day, so I took a few minutes and noticed someone I had recently met sent me a voice message. As I hit the button to listen, she sang happy birthday to me. I listened again with warmth in my heart. This is the first birthday after my mother-in-law passed. Almost every birthday, she would call and sing Happy Birthday to me. This year it was just delivered by someone else, but I knew she had a hand in it.
Dinner was awesome, the day was awesome, and the signs from spirit were awesome. This year is going to be awesome.
As I reflected on my day before going to bed, I realized the parallel meaning of this month’s topic and of the grief I have in missing my people. The parallel meaning: Those scars are part of my story and my wisdom. Every spirit friend in my life taught me something important, and I miss them. Each one gave me a morsel of courage to say, “I don’t know where this is leading me, but I trust myself enough to take the next step.” And suddenly I realized these signs weren’t just reminders that my loved ones were still with me. They were reminders of something I had been learning and teaching all month: spiritual confidence isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about trusting yourself enough to take the next step. What if the experiences that shaped me, including my losses, have been preparing me for the person I’m becoming?
Which takes me back to the first topic of the month. The Lion’s Gate. I am a Leo through and through. I’ve had to learn to lower the volume in my roar to find my purr. I used to think confidence meant having a louder roar. But I’ve learned that spiritual confidence isn’t always a roar. Sometimes it’s a purr. It’s quiet. It’s steady. It’s knowing who you are without needing everyone else to know. The roar says, “Look at me. I know. I have something to prove.” The purr says, “I know who I am. I don’t need to prove it.” The Lion’s Gate reminds us that sometimes our soul purpose is waiting just beyond a doorway we haven’t yet recognized. The Lion’s Gate represents the opening doorway into Soul Purpose…The parallel: the impact of my mother’s death jarred this door open, the one that led me into my Soul Purpose. Sometimes the door to our purpose doesn’t look like a door when it first appears. Sometimes it looks like loss. Sometimes it looks like an ending. Sometimes it looks like the moment our entire understanding of ourselves is shaken loose.
She was my first earthly teacher and her passing unlocked the door to my path, my soul purpose. And maybe that’s what our scars are here to teach us. Maybe the people we’ve loved, the things we’ve lost, and even the moments that have knocked us off our path aren’t always taking us away from our purpose. Sometimes they’re opening the door to it. She continues to teach me to live in spiritual confidence and leadership in the way I live the life. My mother didn’t just leave me signs. She left me courage. The courage to live a life I love and love the life I live.
What if the people, experiences, scars, and even endings in your own life have been quietly preparing you for your next chapter? So, as you move through this next week, I invite you to look at your own story a little differently. What has shaped you? What has strengthened you? What has taught you to trust yourself? And perhaps most importantly…what door might be opening now?”
Blessing for a magical day
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