Pain is Part of Life

“Nobody’s life is entirely free of pain and sorrow. Isn’t it a question to live with them rather than trying to avoid them?” - The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

As I read and absorb “The Power of Now” the words of each chapter are powerful and make perfect sense as I read them. But then I think of how to incorporate them in my daily life. It seems difficult to completely achieve being in the now at all times. These daily habits seem to be like regiment of exercises of the mind.

I believe in this world that is filled with humans, we rise and fall in a continuous loop. Pain is part of life but so is joy and growth. We attract what we give fuel to by focusing our minds and actions to a common goal. To be happy and life our lives to the fullest. But our minds go where they go without consciously steering it in that direction. Spiritual enlightenment emphasizes staying present. To be in the moment of what is happening a this particular time. To recognize what the universe is handing to me right now. To learn what needs to be learned. Not tomorrow or yesterday. We are talking right now.

Eckhart Tolle said, “The greatest part of human pain is unnecessary.” I had to think about that for a minute. I wonder, do he mean the all-consuming thoughts that haunt our minds? Triggers that access to flash backs of a past trauma. The unconscious mind, is that the unnecessary part?

I often sit and reflect on the beautiful memories and events in my life and wonder why they do not sprinkle glistening sparks of joy in my head more often. I wonder why, instead, things that trigger me float in? Why is my brain trained to go into this direction? This, to me, is the unnecessary part.

I break in down to that fact that some of my most haunting pain is caused by the loss of joyful memories I once experienced. Grief is one of these triggers. I am homesick for what once was. The second part of the beginning quote said, “Isn’t it a question to live with them (pain and sorrow) rather than try to avoid them?

Mother’s Day just passed. A time to celebrate motherhood. I lament that it is also a reminder of the mothers who are no longer on this earth. The mothers who have children in the spirit world and the mothers who, for some reason were unable to become mothers. The twisting and turning of emotions that is meant to celebrate mothers can also bring pain and sorrow. Which did you experience? Maybe it was a combination of celebration and sorrow.

Did you know that Mother’s Day was started when Ann Jarvis’ mother passed away May 9, 1905. She wanted to create a group to celebrate her mother. In 1914 President Woodrow Wilson signed a bill to recognize her idea as a national holiday. Before that, Mother’s Day was created as an anti-war movement. Julia Ward Howe aimed to promote a Mother’s Peace Day. This was an early attempt for mothers to find peace in the chaos of war. Jarvis regretted at her death that this day had become so commercialized. But before her passing she honored her mother by sending 500 white carnations to a church. She compared the shape of the flower to the life cycle of a mother’s love. She stated that it is not about the cards, or gifts, it is about love. The positive contributions, motherhood and maternal bonds create in a family.

It is a day to honor both the physical and spiritual nurturing of mothers, Divine mothers. Those who were created as spiritual guides instilling faith and values. To foster a connection to something greater that we have, and unconditional love that enables us to nurture those around us.

Whether we are mothers or daughters, we may live with the pain and sorrow of no longer identifying as such. But instead of avoiding it, we live with it as a reminder. Good or bad, we live through it, one day at a time, because there is no avoiding it.

I tell you this with confidence, death is not final. We will reunite with our mothers, or children who have passed from our earthly family. And I truly believe for mothers in wait, unable to have children; you will truly be blessed by being a mother figure to a motherless child in need of your nurturing spirit, no matter their age.

There are two quotes I want to instill in your heart.

“Women without children are also the best of mothers, often with the patience, interest and saving grace that the constant relationship with a child cannot always sustain.”

“There is something about losing a mother that is permanent and inexpressive - a wound that will never heal. Mothers hold their children’s hands for a while, but their hearts forever. You were my home, Mother, I had no home but you.”

As we live, we also grieve as time passes. We walk amongst beautiful souls who touch our lives and leave a lasting impression on our hearts. The goal is to live in the memories instead of avoiding them. To find the grace and joy of things we once had and continue to have in our heart. To share with others.

Laugh, cry, reflect, allow the memories to live on within you knowing a beautiful soul touched your heart. This is the power of now. Honor them in the now. Talk to them and about them now. They are only a whisper away.

Because of this, I pray you live the life you love and love the life you live.

Blessings

Stacey

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